Dealing with the Bad Days

You know those days

Dealing with the bad days. Those days, those bad ones where everything gets you down and nothing feels right. You know what I’m talking about, we try to be so busy that those bad thoughts or feelings can’t catch up to us. We don’t have time for them! Let’s face it though, they are gonna happen, and when they do we need to learn how to deal with them in a healthy way. 

These kinds of days sneak upon us all, so don’t beat yourself up if you have been struggling with them. They come in like a sucker punch from the left sometimes. Other times you can feel them creeping up. You know it’s coming and you try to fight it off.  The reality is, we’re human, which means we are BUILT to take a lot of life’s crap every day. And yet, because we ARE human, we have limits as well.  I’ve talked about how to recognize when you’re running on empty in a previous post that you can find here. Recognizing your limits is huge though, when it comes to rebuilding your self-worth. 

Recognizing your limits, when dealing with bad days, is so important

Why would knowing what your limits are, be so important to your self worth? Simply put, if you respect your value, then you won’t allow yourself to push past what you are able to give which saves you from wandering into a negative headspace.  

There IS such a thing as giving too much.  I see this all the time with my friends who are mothers. They push push push, making sure everyone around them are taking care of.  Kids, family, friends all tend to get the best of their energy. So what happens when one of those individuals has a bad day and there is nothing left in the self-worth reserve tank? You guessed it. Complete mental or emotional crash.  Abusive self-talk, feelings of inadequacy, or being not enough being to take over. This makes dealing with the bad days almost impossible.  

How in the world do you pull out of that tailspin? Well, friends, this is going to sound weird or perhaps unnatural, especially to the givers out there, but you have to prioritize some “you” time. If the battery is empty, then so are you. Make sense?  Putting the time into yourself to keep you emotionally strong and healthy is probably the most giving thing you can do for yourself, your family, and your friends.

taking time out for yourself is key

Bad days spring up from everywhere

Whether it’s a bad bit of news, or perhaps a lost job.  Maybe too many responsibilities and not enough time or money. It could be a low self-esteem day where you just hate everything about yourself. These bad days spring up seemingly out of nowhere.  This is why it is so important to make sure you have something in that tank to bolster yourself up and fight back the bad.

I recently came back from a cross country vacation to Kentucky.  I’ve never been that far east and it was amazing. Rebel and I packed up the car and off we went to go camping with my friends who had just recently relocated there.  Kentucky is BEAUTIFUL by the way if you’ve never visited.  Amber this is about dealing with bad days! Why are you talking about your vacation!  Bare with me!  I loved seeing my friends, I loved taking a trip and seeing states I’ve never seen before, and yet almost every single day I was on vacation, I was struggling with a bad day.  

Yep, even on a relaxing, fun adventure, I couldn’t get out of my way.  I struggled with the anxiety that was sitting in my chest waiting like an overstretched balloon, just needing the right trigger to POP!  It kept me quiet, and silent more than I would like.  I felt antsy and a little left out of the moment.  That anxiety STOLE the joy of my vacation and time with friends from me, and worse yet, I let it happen. So you see it doesn’t matter when, or where you may be, or what you may be doing, dealing with the bad days is something you have to be prepared for at any time. 

Well Okay, how do I do that?

Great question! Got your pencil ready?  Some paper for some notes?  School is now in session!  I kid, I kid. Seriously though, this stuff is important. I’ve already given you the first and most important thing to do. 

Create Time for yourself.

Honestly, this is by far the most important thing you can do for almost any problem you are facing in your life. Yet, it’s the most overlooked solution ever. I get it, no one feels like they have time to meditate or listen to a podcast they enjoy. Bubble baths? Yeah right! Nice wish!  It’s totally understandable, busy guys and gals, taking time out for yourself feels downright impossible!

So, what if I told you that by taking a handful of minutes throughout the day just for yourself, you could improve both your mental and physical health and leave you prepared for any curve ball a  bad day might throw at you? 

Trust me, it doesn’t take much. For me, a 15 minute guided meditation or a few minutes stretching and my entire day is different. This morning I used one of my favorite go-to meditation guys named David Ji.  Something about him just lightens my heart and allows me to find my center.  This morning it was Discovering My Self-Worth, a guided meditation. What a fantastic 20ish minutes I spent unlocking some of the inner walls of my heart and planting a good intention for my day.  

For you, it could be a cup of coffee in the morning as you enjoy the sounds of the morning. A meditation, a prayer,  or a bit of stretching. Journaling is also a favorite but I find that works best for me later in the day after my mind has been up and running! Try things out, find what works for you!

Living in gratitude changes hearts

Live in Gratitude

Oh Lord help me!  This one gets me.  I am a complainer.  I notice it when I talk to others, or even myself!  Sometimes I get so caught up in being mad about something, or unhappy that I never for a second stop to be thankful for any of the GOOD things in my life.   I started keeping a daily list of 5 things I was grateful for that day.  I was shocked by how quickly my mood improved.  This is a strong tool to use when you are struggling to deal with the bad days. 

On the days that I hate my body, I have been trying to turn to gratitude to soften and change that strong emotion.  Driving back from the trip, my legs hurt and were so swollen from being in the car and drinking soda for the past week. I wanted to tear myself apart for being so weak and struggling with mobility. Instead, for the past two days, I reminded myself that I was grateful to have had the chance to go on that trip, to visit with dear friends, and that I was able to climb in and out of the Kentucky River daily!  It was the strongest weapon I had to fight back the bad thoughts scratching at my self-worth. 

Respect your Limits. 

We all have limits. Learning to recognize what they are, and respecting them will give you the strength of character and a solid measure of self-worth to deal with the bad days.  Recognize your humanity, and your ability to give to much. Allow yourself to have downtime, and be grateful.  Allow yourself the ability to tell others “no”.  To set boundaries for what you can handle in that day or even that moment.  It’s okay to tell someone “I’ve had enough, I need a minute”.  Not only is it okay, its a HEALTHY response. Which as you know, are the ONLY responses we should be focusing on. 

Don’t be afraid to tell your partner, your children, or even your friends “Sorry, I just can’t today”  You can’t give to others when you are empty.  You can’t fight the battles of emotional and physical stress if you are broken down. You are the most important building block in the creation of a happy and healthy life.  

The Bottom Line

Dealing with the bad days is something you can’t avoid, but you can be 100% prepared for it.  These simple steps are things that won’t take too much time out of your day, but will keep you completely attuned with your goals, dreams, and ambitions for a happier and healthier relationship with yourself. Furthermore, having a stronger relationship with self, and being more in tune with your mental/emotional needs is how we not only deal with the bad days, but we defeat them!  

Remember my friends, when you deal with these days, and you face struggles, you aren’t abandoned. Make time for yourself, live a life FULL of gratitude, and respect your boundaries!  Until next time, remember that you are NEVER alone, I’m always just an email away!

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2 Comments

  1. Elizabeth

    Especially as a single mom of two kids I’m definitely getting drained. This helped alot! I put my kids first compulsively but never take time for myself.

    Reply
    • Amber

      I see that so much with my friends who are parents. It’s natural to worry about the needs of your kids and put yourself last.

      Reply

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Amber

Tired of battling low self-esteem, zero self-worth, and an emotional eating addiction, Amber created Amberable to share her journey with those who may be struggling. Hoping to empower, inspire and heal others like herself