Stop Waiting for Tomorrow, Love Yourself Today

Carpe Diem- Love Yourself Today

Stop waiting for tomorrow, love yourself today. Man, is it that simple?  We all hear cute little inspiring phrases like this all the time.  I don’t know about you but when I hear them I think “that’s right I should just love myself today!”  Okay, maybe not. What I’m really thinking is “pfft that’s probably not gonna happen”

Why though? Is it such a radical idea that you can love who you are NOW, instead of waiting to hope you someday become the person you wish you were?  Why do we set our dreams and desires for life around some future “vision” of who we are?  There isn’t a single person on this wonderful planet that hasn’t done this either. 

I’ll admit my entire life, up until now, has been me living in this mental state of “someday”. It became my go-to excuse for anything I was afraid to try, from finding love to learning to ski.  Once I lost my weight, I would be more adventurous. I would stop being afraid of rejection because I would be able to love myself when I got the body I wanted.  Or I wouldn’t be afraid of taking risks or being seen when I could dress fabulously and not look fat.  

My entire quality of life has been wrapped up in my future.  A future that always seems more like a mirage floating in the desert than a reality I could make happen. Everything I’ve ever wanted to accomplish came second to the hatred and sadness I felt about my body. If I could only change THAT, then I could begin to live my life for real!

TODAY is real life!

I have some bad news for you guys, if you spend most of your time secretly saying things like “if this happens, then my real life will begin” you’ve been fooling yourself.  Today, this moment, this second as you’re reading these words THIS IS REAL LIFE

Take a second to let that soak in. Your life, the one you’ve been waiting for, has been happening all along.  You just aren’t in it.  Why? Well if you’re like me, you have been telling yourself that none of your happiness can truly begin until the one thing you want so desperately to change actually changes. 

Here’s a little secret, I turned 40 yesterday. Yup, the big 4-0. Usually around my birthday, I feel a bit sad, because another year has passed and I haven’t lived up to my “real life” qualifications yet. Therefore I had failed again for another year.  This year something seems to have changed. I realized I have always had this burning desire to LIVE MY LIFE.  Not just wait for it to happen when the circumstances are perfect. Although, up until now, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. 

I’ve spent 40 years being too afraid for all of the things I want in my life. Too afraid to be my own boss, or too scared of rejection to reach out and grab love with both hands. Don’t even get me started on what I’ve passed up as I waited for the day I had the perfect body. That was what I wanted more than risking a happy career, definitely more than I wanted to risk being heartbroken. I mean if I couldn’t love me at this size and shape, how could I expect someone else too right?

stop living life on autopilot

The Ugly Cycle is Born

Spending so much time living in the hopes of a future, and not connecting with the reality of the present can leave you bitter and feeling unfulfilled.  That negativity gives birth to something ugly. A continuous cycle of frustration, disappointment, and self-hatred. Breaking free from this cycle is difficult because let’s face it, if you don’t like who you are now, you really don’t want to spend time with that person. It’s more enjoyable to spend time with the future you that you dream to become someday. 

I can tell you with 100% honesty that on the times I’ve stepped back and checked in on my current reality, the animosity I felt for myself, and my life have been completely overwhelming.  Instead of facing that ugliness, I chose to tuck it away by telling myself “It’s fine, it won’t always be this way, someday I’ll be/have________”  You could easily fill in the blank with several of my desires. 

This made connecting with who I am now, extremely uncomfortable, and in today’s world, we don’t like uncomfortable. We do everything we can to avoid that kind of situation. Am I right? 

Here’s the really not so fun truth that I think deep down we all need to hear.  If you can’t love yourself today, right now, in this moment then you won’t ever be able to BECOME that future person you dream about.   So you see how that cycle never ends?  The destruction that self-hatred brings about, makes you uncomfortable with being who you are now. So to avoid it you live for that tomorrow person, instead of really focusing on the growth you need now to truly become that person.  Therefore its absolutely imperative that you stop waiting for tomorrow, and start loving yourself today.

How do I break the cycle?

If the cycle is never-ending how can it ever be broken?  That is a great question, and one I’ve spent the better part of 10 months thinking about. If it feels like an impossible task, I can relate to that. The good news is, the cycle is only never-ending if left on its own.  You CAN break it, learn to love yourself and the life you have NOW, and work towards creating that future person you have longed to know for so long. The best part is, by actively connecting with yourself now in this present moment, you can accomplish all three things at the same time!

stop waiting for tomorrow love yourself today

You cannot change yourself by hating yourself.

It’s no secret that the key to creating change is love, NOT hatred.  To see that you only have to look at what’s going on in the world today.  So much anger, angst, and negativity soaks up and spends all the energy that changes needs to develop.   Now put that in the context of how you see yourself. 

Imagine every time you looked at yourself in the mirror, you thought “I’m unlovable/ugly/disgusting/no good”. (I mean I could go on and on with the things I’ve said to myself alone. ) Just imagining it is exhausting!  How can you change what you don’t like when you’re mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted from the amount of hatred you carry around for yourself. 

This isn’t just about what you physically see. I can recall many times looking in the mirror and just thinking I wasn’t a good enough person to truly be loved, wanted, or needed in this world. After thinking things like this, I would resort to some comfort type of coping mechanism to feel better.  For me that usually meant food. I’m sure you can guess how well that worked out for me over the years. 

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is very simple. If you want that happiness you dream about then you need to stop waiting for tomorrow, love yourself today.  Take the time to connect with who you are now.  Become comfortable in your own skin. It’s not a sin to look at yourself and feel happy, loved, and that you are enough.  The more this becomes a habit in your life, the quicker you will find the changes you have always wanted to create.  I know this because I’m at that point.  I find comfort in connecting with myself and living in the present moment.  I know that by creating that connection with who I am now, I’m writing the blueprint to the future I’ve always wanted. That my friends, is one of the most empowering, hope-filled feelings you can ever experience in this lifetime!

Later this week I’ll bring you another post on what tips and habits you can do to start creating that connection with yourself. Things like how to bring yourself into the present moment instead of getting lost in the nether!  Until then, do me a favor and be kind to yourself, and remember you are never alone!

You may also like…

The Foundation of Friendship

The Foundation of Friendship

Well hello, friends!  I know it’s been a little bit since my last blog entry. The truth is my life underwent a major...

The Practice of Self Appreciation

The Practice of Self Appreciation

It’s easier to find gratitude for others We are now deeply embedded in the season of giving thanks and it’s time to...

6 Comments

  1. Aimee

    Such a beautifully written post! The ‘Today is real life’ really hits, especially now. I’m always trying to juggle the balance of just doing things vs. fear. I know I’m not even that old, but the older I get, the more I do think about everything you’ve written. Especially now as I’m heading towards the end of my studies and won’t have much time. I always tell myself that there IS time if you make it and that sometimes you have to go for it and not give room for your thoughts to take over and tell you otherwise!

    Reply
    • Amber

      I’ve battled so much fear in my life so I completely understand this! Remind yourself that YOU are in control of your thoughts. Make friends with them, feel connected to them but don’t let them live your life for you! Congratulations on coming up on the end of your studies!

      Reply
  2. Alexandra

    Absolutely loved reading this!! It’s so so important to love yourself, and really why wait until tomorrow to do that?

    xo

    Reply
    • Amber

      I can’t tell you how many times I told myself “It’s okay I will find love when…..” I never realized that I needed it NOW, from MYSELF. Thank you!

      Reply
  3. Charlene

    It wasn’t till I turned 23 (currently 27)did I realize how true this really is. I was bitter and took everything in the moment for granted, I work hard to get ahead for tomorrow but I love myself today. I love my past and all the steps it took for me to get here.

    Reply
    • Amber

      I love love LOVE this! I spent my life looking back at the past pain, and living for what I dreamed of. I couldn’t stand myself in the present. That’s all changed for me! I’m so glad you found this love earlier in life! What an incredible adventure you have laid out for you now!

      Reply

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. How to Live in the Present Moment: 3 easy techniques | Amberable - […] On the other side of the fence is a little thing we all like to daydream about, the future!…

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

The following two tabs change content below.

Amber

Tired of battling low self-esteem, zero self-worth, and an emotional eating addiction, Amber created Amberable to share her journey with those who may be struggling. Hoping to empower, inspire and heal others like herself